Tuesday, May 31, 2011
100 Word Testimony
I grew up in a christian home but never truly believed God existed. From my early teenage years, my life was filled with grief and anger which consumed me to the point of feeling like there was no purpose in life. Through the support of christian friends and mentors, I re-found hope and dedicated my life to Christ last year. God is now the foundation of my life, through good and bad times, I live in His strength and believe I can make a difference in the world.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
A Poem
Hey there..
I wrote a poem a few weeks ago when I couldnt sleep and thought I would post it here for some feedback as I think its the first poem I have written since primary school and my skills arent too good!!
Anyway let me know what you think..
On that morning, six years ago,
you went to be with your loving Lord.
And as my feelings eb and flow,
withholding my grief, I cannot afford.
I watched you suffer day after day,
helplessness consuming me more and more.
I wanted you home but you had to stay,
the sad look on your face, at my heart it tore.
I went to school not knowing what each day would bring,
my life had been turned completely inside out.
I would check the phone, dreading it to ring,
I had no answers, just full of doubt.
I would visit you by your bedside,
not knowing whether the day was good or bad.
It was hard to get a smile, no matter how hard I tried,
but I was there because you were my dad.
As weeks and months passed by and by,
my hope was fading for you to improve.
I could do nothing else, but just to cry,
and though my mind was racing, I could not move.
I remember that night, you were so ill,
I had this feeling that was absorbing within.
I kissed your head, then stood completely still,
not knowing how to act or where to be.
It was that morning, six years ago,
ready for school, the very next day.
I then found out, I would be a no show,
that phone had rang, dad passed away.
I wrote a poem a few weeks ago when I couldnt sleep and thought I would post it here for some feedback as I think its the first poem I have written since primary school and my skills arent too good!!
Anyway let me know what you think..
On that morning, six years ago,
you went to be with your loving Lord.
And as my feelings eb and flow,
withholding my grief, I cannot afford.
I watched you suffer day after day,
helplessness consuming me more and more.
I wanted you home but you had to stay,
the sad look on your face, at my heart it tore.
I went to school not knowing what each day would bring,
my life had been turned completely inside out.
I would check the phone, dreading it to ring,
I had no answers, just full of doubt.
I would visit you by your bedside,
not knowing whether the day was good or bad.
It was hard to get a smile, no matter how hard I tried,
but I was there because you were my dad.
As weeks and months passed by and by,
my hope was fading for you to improve.
I could do nothing else, but just to cry,
and though my mind was racing, I could not move.
I remember that night, you were so ill,
I had this feeling that was absorbing within.
I kissed your head, then stood completely still,
not knowing how to act or where to be.
It was that morning, six years ago,
ready for school, the very next day.
I then found out, I would be a no show,
that phone had rang, dad passed away.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
A warm feeling
well today was Lauren's enrolment and what a great day it was. But it was also a chance for me to go back to the Corps that I left at Christmas time. It was great seeing everyone again and to see how the Corps is starting to grow. I felt like I had never left and in fact I got more out of the meeting than the Corps that I have been going too. I could really feel the Holy Spirit moving today.
I suppose I could say that I had completely lost my faith in the first few months of this year, didnt wear uniform and didnt care about religion and spirituality at all. I thought that I could live without it. I only went to church for the fellowship with other people and to fill in the day a bit.
A few weeks before Easter, I was encouraged to go to Easter Camp and I resisted this for quite a few weeks. I was so against going. Eventually I was persuaded to go but still didnt want to. Well am I glad I went. It has been a turning point in my life this year. I have refound my faith in God and although it isnt a strong as I want it to be, it is there which is a big change in my life from the last few months.
I was asked earlier this year "Who is God to you?"... this question has bugged me ever since because I couldnt answer it. I sat there blankly looking at the person saying I dont know. Tonight I was driving home from Ballarat and I was doing a lot of thinking. I had christian music playing and really felt God with me on my journey. I found my answer to this question. God is a warm feeling in my heart. That is who He is to me. And I know that when He isnt in there, it feels very cold and empty and lonely. I now feel confident to say to people when they ask me that question, my answer, a warm feeling in my heart. I feel I have finally discovered something about who I am, as I am trying to break away from being known as my mother's daughter... and this really helps me to feel like a person and an independent person at that. I had lost this warm feeling and now I have refound it. I hope that it doesnt go away, I want to feel it all the time. I do know that I have a lot of spiritual growth to do but I know that God has things in control and I feel I am trusting him with my future right now.
I just felt tonight that I needed to blog about this, it has felt really good to write it down and to share it with anyone who reads this.
So I ask you tonight - Who is God to you?
Love Catherine.
I suppose I could say that I had completely lost my faith in the first few months of this year, didnt wear uniform and didnt care about religion and spirituality at all. I thought that I could live without it. I only went to church for the fellowship with other people and to fill in the day a bit.
A few weeks before Easter, I was encouraged to go to Easter Camp and I resisted this for quite a few weeks. I was so against going. Eventually I was persuaded to go but still didnt want to. Well am I glad I went. It has been a turning point in my life this year. I have refound my faith in God and although it isnt a strong as I want it to be, it is there which is a big change in my life from the last few months.
I was asked earlier this year "Who is God to you?"... this question has bugged me ever since because I couldnt answer it. I sat there blankly looking at the person saying I dont know. Tonight I was driving home from Ballarat and I was doing a lot of thinking. I had christian music playing and really felt God with me on my journey. I found my answer to this question. God is a warm feeling in my heart. That is who He is to me. And I know that when He isnt in there, it feels very cold and empty and lonely. I now feel confident to say to people when they ask me that question, my answer, a warm feeling in my heart. I feel I have finally discovered something about who I am, as I am trying to break away from being known as my mother's daughter... and this really helps me to feel like a person and an independent person at that. I had lost this warm feeling and now I have refound it. I hope that it doesnt go away, I want to feel it all the time. I do know that I have a lot of spiritual growth to do but I know that God has things in control and I feel I am trusting him with my future right now.
I just felt tonight that I needed to blog about this, it has felt really good to write it down and to share it with anyone who reads this.
So I ask you tonight - Who is God to you?
Love Catherine.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Garlic Bread with a twist...
Hi again...
I thought I would share my forgetfulness with you...
I was cooking tea on Tuesday night and decided to have some garlic bread with it... so I put 2 slices in the oven... I then got my tea out of the oven and left the garlic bread in there as it wasnt quite ready...
Once I had dished the tea up, I sat down to eat it and then thought I better turn the oven off... so I did..
Today (Thursday) I was sitting in my office at work thinking about what to have for tea tonight... I then thought that I might hae garlic bread and then I thought some more and could not remember eating the garlic bread the other night... I had left the garlic bread in the oven!!!! and 2 days later, opened the oven and found it there... quite hard. I did eat one piece but it was like a brick... I dont know how I forgot it was in there... I mean really...
So yeah that was my excitement for the week...
I also had a flu injection today.... we had to line up at work and everyone got their needle in front of everyone else... it was quite strange... but yes I shouldnt get the flu this year!!! That will be good...
Anyway I am going now....
Cya
Catherine
I thought I would share my forgetfulness with you...
I was cooking tea on Tuesday night and decided to have some garlic bread with it... so I put 2 slices in the oven... I then got my tea out of the oven and left the garlic bread in there as it wasnt quite ready...
Once I had dished the tea up, I sat down to eat it and then thought I better turn the oven off... so I did..
Today (Thursday) I was sitting in my office at work thinking about what to have for tea tonight... I then thought that I might hae garlic bread and then I thought some more and could not remember eating the garlic bread the other night... I had left the garlic bread in the oven!!!! and 2 days later, opened the oven and found it there... quite hard. I did eat one piece but it was like a brick... I dont know how I forgot it was in there... I mean really...
So yeah that was my excitement for the week...
I also had a flu injection today.... we had to line up at work and everyone got their needle in front of everyone else... it was quite strange... but yes I shouldnt get the flu this year!!! That will be good...
Anyway I am going now....
Cya
Catherine
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Updated Hello
Well this is my first blog on here. How exciting...
I am now living in Geelong, have been since 27th December. The time has gone very quick. I am attending South Barwon Salvation Army and slowly getting to meet people. I am working at Kardinia Mental Health Services in South Geelong which is good.
I have finally learnt how to light my heater today... so now it is ncie and warm.
I have found life very tough in the last few months but I am feeling that it is beginning to become a bit easier.. finally.. I have refound God in my life and at least believe that He has things in control.
Hmmm what else can I talk about??? My neighbours seemed to have disappeared... I really didnt think I was that scary... It seems they have done a runner... as one day they were here and the next day they were gone!! So it has been quite quiet here lately...
I have realised lately how important it is to give yourself space and thinking time alone. Lately I have enjoyed these times. It helps with re-energising yourself I feel.
So anyway I am not sure what else to write here so maybe I wont write anything. I will try to put more interesting blogs up here time to time when I remember...
Enjoy life!!!
Love Catherine
I am now living in Geelong, have been since 27th December. The time has gone very quick. I am attending South Barwon Salvation Army and slowly getting to meet people. I am working at Kardinia Mental Health Services in South Geelong which is good.
I have finally learnt how to light my heater today... so now it is ncie and warm.
I have found life very tough in the last few months but I am feeling that it is beginning to become a bit easier.. finally.. I have refound God in my life and at least believe that He has things in control.
Hmmm what else can I talk about??? My neighbours seemed to have disappeared... I really didnt think I was that scary... It seems they have done a runner... as one day they were here and the next day they were gone!! So it has been quite quiet here lately...
I have realised lately how important it is to give yourself space and thinking time alone. Lately I have enjoyed these times. It helps with re-energising yourself I feel.
So anyway I am not sure what else to write here so maybe I wont write anything. I will try to put more interesting blogs up here time to time when I remember...
Enjoy life!!!
Love Catherine
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